Acceptance Commitment Confusion
I got accepted in a teaching job that pays less than my current banking job, with less facilites and more working days...and I accepted it, say whatt?
Well I was to afraid of being scolded of not having a job and lazying around at home. Although what I really need was a holiday.
And I am really sick of feeling underappreciated in my current job, besides it being not intellectually stimulating. Well it sharpens your people skill (which I am really bad at) and I really feel like I am being sharpened away, just with the lead eventually falling instead of pointy sharp.
I committed to that job. Afterwards however I felt like I should've just stayed in my current job for at least half a year, at least I'll have a higher salary to negotiate when I shift (after the teaching job of course). But then when irritating things happen, I regret saying yes when my manager ask me to stay at least till end of June. I feel great that I am the only one who can get it done, but hurt that I am paid less than those who can't.
I hate it when my bos passed on everything I can possibly do to me. And him playing games. And getting 3x more salary and bonus.
I hate him for it but nothing else. He never scolds me (maybe only once) and never said no if I asked for a leave.But then he is not inspiring, I need people who inspires me around me. I don't find it in my current job, at least not in my immediate surrounding. I don't think I will find them in my new teaching job as well.
I am trying to convince myself now that I have made commitment to that new job. That it will be fine, I will have less stress although less salary and I will get to do things small me can't do before. But then I think of the physical labour of preparing the class, the emotional preparation I need to do before I go to work each day, since you can't explain kids (in my current job, even adults refuse to listen what to expect of kids). I take it as a challenge. If only I haven't commited, they probably won't waste their time on me, and me on them. I plan to take probation and leave afterward. And my other new job probably will pay me the same as my current pay or less. Basically Ill be paid juniors' salary for a longer time than I should. What to do, decisions have been made.
At least I can sense people don't want to know my story, they just want me to stay for their benefit, once I told them I have committed to the new job, they don't care anymore of why I want to resign. They don't care to improve the company they are working in or they way they treat employees, why should I care to stay? It just confirms it for me. I have to leave this company at the earliest. I shouldn't wait till June. But Oh Commitments! I should stop committing to things. Or should stop staying true to my words, like everybody does.
Update: I didn't resign, I continued. But only for 2 months before I decided to quit again and finally did it!
Well I was to afraid of being scolded of not having a job and lazying around at home. Although what I really need was a holiday.
And I am really sick of feeling underappreciated in my current job, besides it being not intellectually stimulating. Well it sharpens your people skill (which I am really bad at) and I really feel like I am being sharpened away, just with the lead eventually falling instead of pointy sharp.
I committed to that job. Afterwards however I felt like I should've just stayed in my current job for at least half a year, at least I'll have a higher salary to negotiate when I shift (after the teaching job of course). But then when irritating things happen, I regret saying yes when my manager ask me to stay at least till end of June. I feel great that I am the only one who can get it done, but hurt that I am paid less than those who can't.
I hate it when my bos passed on everything I can possibly do to me. And him playing games. And getting 3x more salary and bonus.
I hate him for it but nothing else. He never scolds me (maybe only once) and never said no if I asked for a leave.But then he is not inspiring, I need people who inspires me around me. I don't find it in my current job, at least not in my immediate surrounding. I don't think I will find them in my new teaching job as well.
I am trying to convince myself now that I have made commitment to that new job. That it will be fine, I will have less stress although less salary and I will get to do things small me can't do before. But then I think of the physical labour of preparing the class, the emotional preparation I need to do before I go to work each day, since you can't explain kids (in my current job, even adults refuse to listen what to expect of kids). I take it as a challenge. If only I haven't commited, they probably won't waste their time on me, and me on them. I plan to take probation and leave afterward. And my other new job probably will pay me the same as my current pay or less. Basically Ill be paid juniors' salary for a longer time than I should. What to do, decisions have been made.
At least I can sense people don't want to know my story, they just want me to stay for their benefit, once I told them I have committed to the new job, they don't care anymore of why I want to resign. They don't care to improve the company they are working in or they way they treat employees, why should I care to stay? It just confirms it for me. I have to leave this company at the earliest. I shouldn't wait till June. But Oh Commitments! I should stop committing to things. Or should stop staying true to my words, like everybody does.
Update: I didn't resign, I continued. But only for 2 months before I decided to quit again and finally did it!
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