My Life as a Newly Jobless Person

You know the moment after you resign when you feel all freedom and have less responsibilites. Yea , that, I don't feel that!

I have anxiety about a lot of things, and the height of it I experienced when my work responsibilities pushed the right buttons of the anxiety in me. I thought everything will chill out by itself when I resigned. But people don't like to see you chill or are 'very concerned' on how can you be so chilled. Anxiety flows right in the moment leading up to my effective resignation date (had to give a one-month notice) as many people are asking me where will I work next. When I sent my farewells, people are advising me to start finding another job soon. Which I refused to do before I gain my self back on my foot, although my anxiety level became very high after that.

An important thought came thru me though. Maybe I hate my job because I hate being in Jakarta, and I lack social life. Maybe I hate my job because I define myself by the work that I do. While all these other people have a life beside work, they can go to gym when I prefer to sleep. I almost thought that what if this job is actually the one saving me from insanity than causing it? since I get to meet people and feel important. Maybe I just wanted longer holidays? But no regrets. Not working may drive anxiety ( anxiety concerning yourself and your future), but so does working (anxiety concerning useless creatures finance transactions and company goals) ! Might as well learn how to make myself happy,learn about myself when I haven't plunge to deep to the working world that I can't chill when I am not working for a long time.

Right now I am doing random things here and there.
- Trying to cook (not as regularly as initially planned). Will need to make a schedule!
- Wanted to do more exercise (especially yoga), but I have an ankle sprain (maybe I am never gonna be a sports person).
- Write more (trying to from 10/12/2016)...a blog post each day maybe? Hmmm..
-  Planning to go Bali for a writing workshop (push myself to do something more with my writings) to rub my rusty fingers and brain.
- Wanted to go for more meetups (Again: ankle sprain and yeah traffic)
- Wanted to pray...this one isn't that easy. I need to regain my faith first.
- In terms of fixing my anxiety I will try going to Vipassana Meditation, hopefully it goes well (can't wait for this but have to since it starts 9 Nov)
- Do Ielts and figure out future Uni, get scholarship etc. Didn't know what to take masters in tho :(
- Fix my CV and gain back confidence!

I need to set myself on a schedule and work on it without mercy to my ankle whatsoever!
But then I might be going on holiday in a few days. So yea that schedule won't be followed any time sooner than 1st November but again has to take a hiatus from 9- 20 Nov. So I guess 20 Nov it is before I get to a routine.