Unexpected Dip and the Climb Back to Loving Life

I had a hard time last year.
I had realised a few points that was buried down in the ground.
The memories long forgotten has resurfaced in form of uncontrollable waves.
Tears was not drying despite the dams build around it.
Heart was not at ease despite all efforts taken.
Tensed is now 24/7.
First Life Exam.
I failed?
I studied again now.
No school or university teach you this.
You may be the top of your class in school but Life is the strictest meaniest teacher.
I have received low marks before, but this time I failed.
I started finding tuition teacher after crying inconsolably.
Pshychartist, phsychologist, hipnoterapist, aunties and uncles, parents. None are good enough to get me the mark I desired. I want to excel in life how I exceled in school.
Then I found meditation. Its damn hard. But damn worth it.
Thanks Yuven, thanks Pak Merta Ada, thanks Miss Psychologist to make me realise that the first most reponsible person for my well being is myself.
Even then I practice very less, and sometimes I am in the bridge going to fail again.
Last week was my last chance of learning step 1 with Pak Merta Ada.
No more excuses now I have to practice every day.

This is what I should be doing everyday:
1. Meditation
2. Chant 1 round
3. Help someone in need
4. Create something for myself (writing/video/drawing/ chairity work)
5. Take care of my body ( eat good food, focus on myself when taking shower, use cream etc)